Now, I am not one for taking on a cause, probably something to do with the whole “if everyone took responsibility for themselves then the world would be a better place” mindset that I hold. But child abuse is just one thing that I simply cannot stomach let alone tolerate.
In particular I am talking about the case of the 9 year old girl and her brother in West Auckland. I have stayed relatively silent on this issue, as I don’t think someone else jumping on to the internet and ranting about it is going to do anything, so I guess this isn’t so much about expressing my abject horror or anything like that… its more about the article I saw on Stuff today…
So apparently the mother is now claiming that she wrote a letter to the PM asking for help. Firstly lets just look at this on the face of it. She was asking for help??? Did it not occur to her to, you know, not beat the crap out of her child? Why would you need help? Ok so she may have problems, why did she not go to the social worker, the school, the doctor that she didn’t take her daughter to, but herslef to when she broke her hands punching her daughter?
Its all very well trying to play the blame game, why didn’t anyone do anything blah blah blah, its all someone elses fault. For gods sake stop blaming society, the government CYFs, MSD etc and wake up and realise that its the parents fault. Make them pay for it. Don’t find excuses, don’t try and make it someone elses fault. I think life imprisonment and sterilisation is a fair punishment.
The next side to this though, is we have to stop being PC about what we do with these kids. Instead of taking them away and putting them with other family members who are just as likely to abuse them, we forcibly remove them, remove the need to for consent for adoption and get them placed with families who will love and cherish them, who want children people who can’t have them. There ought to be criteria for this.
On what level is it in the best interest of the child to place it back with its abusive parents after 8 years? On what level do the “do-gooders” at MSD think that placing children with the family of crap parents, without properly checking into their backgrounds, with a mind of rehabilitating the parents is a good idea?
Who’s interests should we be protecting here? The childs or the parents? Or the “whanau” who are suppossed to care and love for the child. I normally disagree with people when they say that some people just have kids for the extra dole payment, but in cases like this, you can only think that, that can be the only reason.
The worst part about it though, is that in the cases where the kids die, the whole family come together and cry about how this girl was so loved and how she was the apple of everyones eye. Where the hell were they when the kid was being routinely beaten? Surely they would have seen the bruises? Surely they know whats going on? Except they turn a blind eye. That is absolutely disgusting. How can they accept that? Why do they not do anything about it? The truth is, the child only becomes the apple in their eyes once they are dead, or lying in a hospital bed. And what of the kids who survive these ordeals, the ones who arent dead? Is this a cycle that carries on? I mean if thats all you know in life then how much chance can you have at breaking the cycle. Really the only answer I can see is removing these kids if their parents are unfit.
For myself and my partner having children is partly an economic decision. I certainly do not see it as the States responsibility to pay to raise them. When we have children it will be because we can afford to. And if we did happen to have an unplanned child we will make sacrafices to raise that child, not burden the taxpayer.
Unfortunately welfare and child abuse seem to go hand in hand in this country. I get that being broke is stressful, believe me, I was almost at that point a wee while ago, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to hit my partner, or put my cat in the dryer from stress. I certainly don’t know where we go from here to make sure that we stop killing children in this country, but all I know is that something needs to be done.
We need to ensure that children are safe and if that means removing them from their families permanently – there should be no second chances – then thats what should be done.
Let me leave you with one thought. If your dog abondons its puppies, doesn’t feed them leaves them alone, do you remove them? Yes you do, that dog is bad parent and you make the decision that someone else is better equiped to provide for them. Well I think thats the state we have gotten to with some parents in this country.
